{"id":74,"date":"2006-11-08T16:20:26","date_gmt":"2006-11-08T14:20:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cairochronicles.com\/jack\/?p=74"},"modified":"2006-11-08T16:20:26","modified_gmt":"2006-11-08T14:20:26","slug":"see-jack-see-jack-drive-see-jack-have-nervous-breakdown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.cairochronicles.com\/jack\/2006\/11\/08\/see-jack-see-jack-drive-see-jack-have-nervous-breakdown\/","title":{"rendered":"See Jack. See Jack drive. See Jack have nervous breakdown&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I know I have posted about cars and the traffic here and how it is rather chaotic.<\/p>\n<p>Well events have conspired against me and I had to drive today.<\/p>\n<p>I needed to get from Cairo to 6 October City. It is an &#8220;industrial zone&#8221; with some housing and business and what not. It is about 30km from Cairo.<\/p>\n<p>The university has cars (and drivers) available for faculty for a fee. They had no cars available at the time I needed to go.<\/p>\n<p>No problem. I have the name of a couple of taxi drivers that I trust. I&#8217;ll call them. No joy. They are not available.<\/p>\n<p>One of Kaddee&#8217;s co-workers offered to lend me her car. I was terrified. But I had no choice.<\/p>\n<p>So, I picked up the car and headed out.<\/p>\n<p>Getting out of Cairo proper is the scary part, but that went very well. Lots of honking and I was actually kind of enjoying the weaving in and out of traffic.<\/p>\n<p>I saw the remains of at least 4 or 5 car accidents on the side of the road. Some of them involving 6 or so vehicles. Some of them minor, a few very serious looking. The biggest danger here is the vast difference in speeds. The limit on this piece of road is 100kmh. I approached people that were barely managing half that speed. And lots of cars do not have functional brake lights. So you really have to pay attention.<\/p>\n<p>So I am driving to 6 October City. I have been there once. And I kinda know where I need to go, but I blow right past where I wanted to be, without realizing it.<\/p>\n<p>So I drive for a few minutes and realize<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;None of this looks familiar&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>But it is hard to know, because one brown desert hill looks much like every other.<\/p>\n<p>Finally I am sure that I must have missed it. I see one of those ubiquitous informal bus stops on the side of the road near the pullout for &#8220;Happy Land&#8221;, which is apparently an amusement park.  In the middle of nowhere. It is either not finished being built or it is abandoned<\/p>\n<p>These informal bus stops are not marked, but &#8220;everyone&#8221; knows where they  are. There is also a felafel stand and a guy with a tea setup there. There are 2 or 3 buses in there and a few 18-wheelers.<\/p>\n<p>As I pull into the dirt lot I noticed that the pickup truck in front of me is on fire. More accurately, what is in the back of the pickup truck is on fire.<\/p>\n<p>I pull in and stop shorter than I planned to, to stay out of the danger zone and momentarily forget about asking for directions. I grab my little point n shoot camera and hop out of the car.<\/p>\n<p>Allow me to backtrack a little. When I picked up the car this morning, the owner gave me the key and the remote for the alarm and told me how to use it. Pretty standard stuff.<\/p>\n<p>So, when I get to the car, I put the key in the lock and open the car. The alarm immediately goes off. Crap! I frantically push buttons on the remote until the alarm stops.<\/p>\n<p>I sigh, get in the car and drive.<\/p>\n<p>Now, back to the dirt lot with the felafel stand, the tea stand, the buses and the pickup truck on fire.<\/p>\n<p>I hop out of the car with my camera and I hear a noise behind me. It is a noise that one hears thousands upon thousands of times in ones life. An everyday, no one would think twice about, kinda noise.<\/p>\n<p>The noise of a car door closing.<\/p>\n<p>I heard it and my skin crawled. I turned around. The car was still running. The doors and windows were all closed.<\/p>\n<p>And locked.<\/p>\n<p>I speculate that in my frantic button pushing to turn off the damn alarm, i had relocked the car. And, apparently, one can open the car door while it is locked and have it still be locked. If the engine is running. I guess.<\/p>\n<p>So, NSTIW. In BFE with a borrowed car that is now running and locked on the side of the road bordering the desert.<\/p>\n<p>I figured I would just whip out my cell phone and start calling people until I found someone who would know the local equivalent (if there is such) of AAA.<\/p>\n<p>You guessed it. My cell phone is in the car.<\/p>\n<p>All right. Plan B.<\/p>\n<p>I start asking for a cell phone at the bus stop. Problem is, I have no idea what anybody&#8217;s phone number actually is, because they are all programmed in my phone. And it&#8217;s not like you can call 411 here.<\/p>\n<p>All right. Plan C.<\/p>\n<p>I start asking if anybody can help me unlock the car.<\/p>\n<p>People try all their keys and a screwdriver comes out.<\/p>\n<p>We forage on the side of the road for a flexible piece of metal. No joy. Found a bunch of sticks. The windows have a full metal frame, so you can&#8217;t pull the window out to try to get at the locks.<\/p>\n<p>We try to pry back the seal where the window meets the door and fish around with various pieces of wood and a piece of a broken car antenna.<\/p>\n<p>The car antenna breaks, leaving a small piece in the door panel.<\/p>\n<p>Sigh.<\/p>\n<p>After about an hour, we are getting no where.<\/p>\n<p>The nice men have to leave. The bus has been waiting all this time.<\/p>\n<p>I continue on my own. No joy.<\/p>\n<p>All right. Plan D.<\/p>\n<p>I look at the windows. It is a Hyundai small SUV. In the far rear is a little quarter window. It doesn&#8217;t open, but it is the smallest piece of glass. I figure it has got to be the cheapest piece to replace.<\/p>\n<p>But I wasn&#8217;t sure, that if I broke it, if I could reach a door handle. It was too small for me to crawl through. But I look around and there are plenty of scrawny Egyptians around, so I figured I could get them to do it.<\/p>\n<p>I identify a likely hunk of discarded concrete, but I just can&#8217;t bring myself to do it yet. If it had been my car, I would have broken the damn window an hour ago and been on my way.<br \/>\nAnother couple of trucks pull in and I decide to try my luck again.<\/p>\n<p>We found more sticks and more screwdrivers.<\/p>\n<p>One guy jammed the screwdriver into the door frame and we were able to pull back the door frame enough to wedge in a piece of wood. After a break we pulled back on it again and wedged the piece of wood in further. Another break. More wood wedging.<\/p>\n<p>We were able to spread the door frame enough that we were able to, after many tries, get a stick in there to push the window button and open a window. (Luckily the car was running, otherwise the window buttons would not have worked)<\/p>\n<p>I gave the nice man LE100 (about US$18). He was very happy. I was very happy.<\/p>\n<p>2 hours later, I am on my way again.<\/p>\n<p>Oh yeah, now I gotta ask for directions&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>The funniest part of all this, to me, is that I was going out there to take a cardio stress test. (before you ask, everything is fine).<\/p>\n<p>I finally get to the hospital and the doctor takes my blood pressue and says<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Hmm. it seems a little higher than usual today&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>No kidding?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I know I have posted about cars and the traffic here and how it is rather chaotic. Well events have conspired against me and I had to drive today. I needed to get from Cairo to 6 October City. It is an &#8220;industrial zone&#8221; with some housing and business and what not. It is about [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-74","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nstiw"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.cairochronicles.com\/jack\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.cairochronicles.com\/jack\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.cairochronicles.com\/jack\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cairochronicles.com\/jack\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cairochronicles.com\/jack\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=74"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.cairochronicles.com\/jack\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.cairochronicles.com\/jack\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=74"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cairochronicles.com\/jack\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=74"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cairochronicles.com\/jack\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=74"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}