Jack’s Cairo Chronicles

Re-acclimating to Settle brings with it a bunch of do’s, don’ts and don’t-have-tos, big and small.

Do’s:

• OBEY RED LIGHTS. My god, what a waste of time to sit there waiting for the light to change.
• Use the sidewalks. Ay da?
• Carry my own groceries. How barbaric.

Don’t

• Don’t cross the street in the middle, weaving between cars. This seems to startle the locals.
• Don’t walk in the street. ITS A PEFECTLY GOOD STREET, but nooooo, we have to walk on the sidewalk.
• Don’t audibly make fun of people as you pass them on the street. They can understand me here.
• Don’t sing at the top of my lungs while listeing to music at work. Being back in a cube farm is a drag. (Thankfully, singing like this on the bus is apparently still accepted practice here in Seattle.)
• Have to answer inane questions about:

“How did you like it? Glad to be back?”. Again and again…

Don’t-have-tos:

• Don’t have to answer inane questions about:

“Where you from? How many children do you have? How many wives do you have”. again and again

• We don’t have to horde “small money” anymore. We are both constantly opening our wallets to find 15 singles, and 5 fives and realizing “ya know, i don’t need to do this anymore..”
• Horde booze. I nearly had a seizure when kaddee used the _good_ cream liquor in the coffee on Sunday morning.

What the hell are you doing? Don’t waste that in coffee! Don’t you know how hard it is to get that?!. My god we have to……………….  uh, go down the street and buy another bottle. Never mind.